have four beautiful girls with the woman I adore most on this planet. I'm a stay-at-home dad, and drink more coffee than both of your parents, and your grandparents combined. We live in New Jersey, Which is way more awesome than New Yorkers make it sound, but we also call California and West Virginia home. We're prepared for the zombie apocalypse, especially if it starts on a Friday. I once called Danzig a 'loser' to his face, and My wife is a unicorn, who can beat your score on Bejeweled or Plants vs. Zombies (your choice) in one try. Our kids are ninjas, and have been getting ice cream out of your freezer the whole time you've been reading this. I've never seen It's a Wonderful Life or Gone With the Wind, and you can't make me. I think 'rhombus' is a pretty sweet word, but it's really hard to work into a conversation. If you think there's anything I should add to this description, you can e-mail me, but you should also remember that you don't know what you're talking about, and I haven't talked to you in at least four years. Also, I want my red hoodie back, there was $5 in the pocket, and it'd better still be there.