Bryan has four brilliant, charming, and talented young daughters, and drinks more coffee than both of your parents, and your grandparents combined.  We live in Vancouver (Not the Canadian one), Which is way more awesome than Portlanders make it sound, though we also call California and West Virginia home.  We're prepared for the zombie apocalypse, especially if it starts on a Friday, and doesn’t last long. The girls are trained ninjas, and have been getting ice cream out of your freezer the whole time you've been reading this; they’re upset that you don’t have cookies n’ cream.  I've never seen It's a Wonderful Life or Gone With the Wind, and you can't make me. I think 'rhombus' is a pretty rad word, but it's really hard to work into a conversation.  I’m pretty over the whole idea of having pets, since none have ever been mine, but, and ocelot would be frickin’ cool. If you think there's anything I should add to this description, you can e-mail me, but you should also remember that you don't know what you're talking about, and I haven't talked to you in at least four years.  Also, I want my red hoodie back, there was $20 in the pocket, and it'd better still be there.